Navigating Autism: Oliver's Diagnosis and DDD/ALTCS Journey

Navigating Autism with Love, Determination, and a LOT of Paperwork

When I first thought, “I wonder if he has autism,” Oliver was three years old. He had always been just enough “on par” developmentally to avoid raising too many eyebrows. Sure, he had a slight speech delay, but I’d heard the classic line: “Kids develop at their own pace. Don’t worry!” And like the rule-following ex-Mormon I was, I trusted the experts.

But then there were the signs:

1. Saying his name over and over, like I was stuck in a glitchy voice recording.

2. Transitions were his mortal enemy—even to do things he liked.

3. Potty training? HA. Poop withholding was basically a sport at this point.

4. Persistent routines and BIG feelings.

One day, after another round of “Oliver! Oliver? O-LI-VER!” the thought hit me: “What if he has autism?” When I mentioned it to Alex, he nodded and said he’d been thinking the same thing. And just like that, I fell headfirst into the black hole of Google, online quizzes, and endless rabbit holes of autism traits. Was I overreacting? Maybe. But was this worth checking out? Absolutely.


Getting the Diagnosis: A Crash Course in Arizona Bureaucracy

Here’s the thing about getting an autism diagnosis in Arizona: No one actually tells you what to do. It’s like signing up for a treasure hunt, but the map is written in Klingon, and no one told you it would rain.

Step One: Referrals
I started with online questionnaires for therapy facilities and got a call back from one that explained their process. They needed a referral from Oliver’s PCP, so I asked for one—and luckily, she was on board.

Step Two: Waiting (and Waiting)
We finally found a place with a shorter waitlist—only two months instead of three! Progress! I filled out about a million pre-evaluation forms, hoping they didn’t ask for the meaning of life because I was already barely holding it together.

Step Three: The Evaluation
The in-person evaluation was supposed to take 1-4 hours. Ours? Twenty minutes. I had barely finished my coffee when they called it a day. While they assured me it was enough, I had a mini-meltdown. What if he didn’t qualify? What if I’d have to start all over? Thankfully, the mountain of pre-evaluation forms saved the day. Oliver got his diagnosis, and I got to breathe again.

Applying for DDD and ALTCS: A Whole New Challenge

Ah, DDD and ALTCS—the dynamic duo of confusion and despair. Applying for these services felt like trying to assemble IKEA furniture blindfolded. The forms were riddled with jargon, and no one gave me an instruction manual. Here’s how I survived:

Arizona Autism United: A coworker pointed me to AZA United, and honestly, bless them. They explained everything, emailed detailed instructions, and even walked me through the interview questions. When I say they saved my sanity, I mean it.
Pro Tip: Call them. Now (that's a hyperlink, friends!) Their family services team is free, and they are the MVPs of this process. Me, no. Them: YES.

Lessons Learned (and a Few Laughs)

It’s Never Too Late: If you’re worried about your child, trust your gut. Early intervention can be life-changing, but it’s never too late to seek help.

Your Kid is Still Your Kid: A diagnosis doesn’t change who they are—it just gives you tools to help them thrive. Oliver is still the same big-hearted, routine-loving kid he’s always been.

Break the Rules: If a sensory swing or tent makes your kid happy, do it. Forget the parenting books. You’re creating a happy, unique home that works for your family!

My Biggest Takeaway

As a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist, I’ve learned to let go of the idea of “perfect parenting” and lean into what works. If Oliver loves a sensory swing, that’s not “spoiling” him—it’s helping him feel safe and happy. Every child has unique strengths waiting to be uncovered, and our job as parents is to help them shine.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure, I get it. I’ve been there, and I’m happy to share what I’ve learned. Feel free to reach out—this is a journey you don’t have to take alone. ❤️