What If Christlike Love Actually Meant Something?

I’ve been spiraling tonight, so bear with me while I pull my ADHD brain together into something resembling a coherent thought. But honestly, isn’t that the best energy for tackling big, fiery topics? Let’s talk about unconditional love, LGBTQ acceptance, and the frustrating way humanity can be…well, ridiculous. (But I promise I’ll phrase it nicer. Mostly.)

Humans Are So Dumb Sometimes (Myself Included!)

First things first: humans are stupid. Myself included! We all cling to outdated beliefs, let our emotions rule us, and sometimes do harm without even realizing it. But here’s the thing—it doesn’t have to stay that way. Imagine if we all had a magical button that could make people suddenly aware of how they’ve been emotionally manipulated. A button that lets us see the harm we’ve caused (and experienced!) and pushes us to manage our big feelings in healthy ways instead of lashing out.

I’d press that button in a heartbeat. Honestly, I’d slam it with both hands, consequences be damned. If that button existed, it would do what so many people in high-demand systems (ahem, Mormonism) seem to avoid: force us to actually think critically about our emotions, beliefs, and actions.

The LGBTQ Flag Incident: Why This Stuff Matters

This brings me to a story that’s been sitting heavy on my heart. Alex’s aunt Irene, someone I used to think highly of, did something that shook me. Her daughter, Tracy, hung an LGBTQ flag in her room—probably as a sign of love and solidarity for her friends. Irene saw it and, instead of being proud of Tracy for her kindness, reacted like a textbook Mormon parent. She told Tracy to take it down and kept her home from school to have a “talk.” You can imagine how that went.

Now, I’m not close to Tracy, and I don’t want to overstep, but my heart broke for her. Here’s a young person who is just trying to show love, and her mom—someone who should be her biggest supporter—is treating it like a moral crisis. For what? A piece of fabric? A symbol of love and inclusion? How is this Christlike love? Spoiler alert: it’s not.

What’s So Scary About Acceptance?

Let’s get real: Mormonism (and so many other religions) have this bizarre fear of acceptance. The idea that loving someone as they are—without trying to change them—somehow condones “sin.” But isn’t the whole point of Christlike love that it’s supposed to be unconditional? If God really is all-knowing and all-loving, why on earth would He be so hung up on arbitrary rules about sexuality, gender, or even who gets to wave a rainbow flag in their bedroom?

The way I see it, unconditional love isn’t about obedience or control. It’s about seeing someone for who they are and choosing to love them anyway. It’s about connection, compassion, and showing up for people, even when their journey looks different from yours. And frankly, if a God exists who’d rather see people suffer than be loved for who they are, that’s not a God I’m interested in.

The World Is Changing (Slowly, but Surely)

Here’s the good news: the world is evolving. Outside of high-demand systems like Mormonism, I see more and more people embracing the “live and let live” mentality. Dr. Grumble, my Jewish colleague, is a perfect example. When his kids started exploring relationships and identity, his response wasn’t fear or control—it was, “You can have your girlfriend over, just save the intimacy for the dorm room.” No lectures, no judgment, just practical boundaries and acceptance. Why can’t more people be like that?

And yet, stories like Tracy’s remind me how much work is left to do. People like Irene are so entrenched in their conditioning that they see love and acceptance as threats. It’s exhausting. But it also makes me more determined to be a voice for change.

My New Religion: Being a Good Human

Here’s where I’ve landed: I’m done with religion. Not because I don’t believe in love or goodness, but because I believe in them so much that I can’t stomach the harm religion often causes. My new “religion” is this:

Be the person I want to be.

Treat people with kindness and respect.

Fight for love and inclusion, even when it’s hard.

If heaven exists, the only question at the gates should be: “How did you treat your fellow humans?” Not, *“Did you obey arbitrary rules?” Not, *“Did you take down that rainbow flag?” Just, *“Did you love?”

Final Thoughts: Love Is the Answer (Always)

Tracy’s story breaks my heart, but it also fuels my fire. We can do better. We have to do better. If “Christlike love” is supposed to mean anything, it should mean this: love without conditions, without judgment, and without fear. Anything less isn’t love—it’s control.

So here’s my question for anyone reading this: What kind of love are you showing the world? Is it rooted in rules and fear, or is it the kind of love that changes lives for the better? For me, the choice is clear.

Love big. Love loud. And if you see someone like Tracy, remind them they’re incredible, rainbow flag and all. ❤️